Time for another of my old Ghazals. Originally, there were five couplets, I have discarded one.
———
dil-e-naadaan kii qayaadat meN
umr guzrii hai kis aziiyat meN
(naadaan : innocent, simple; qayaadat : leadership; aziiyat : difficulties)
ab tujhe bhuul bhii nahiiN sakte
mubtilaa haiN ajab musiibat meN
(mubtilaa : involved; musiibat : problem)
kisko fursat thii ghar banaane kii
log rahne lage imaarat meN
(fursat : time; imaarat : building)
maiN tujhe chhoR kar agar jaauuN
umr kaT jaayegii musaafat meN
(musaafat : travel)
Mohib Ahmad
South Korea, Feb 2005
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Wah…dil-e-naadaaN ki qayaadat meN….pur-lutf she’r hai. doosra sher bhi umda hai, paRh kar ek dam se muskuraahaT sii aa gayii. Aur maqtaa achchha hai, umr kaT jayegi musaafat meN…nice and simple words but effective.
Not bad at all!
And why did you discard one couplet?
@ Adnan bhai
zarra-navaazii kaa shukriyaa !
@ confused
Yes, it is one of my better Ghazals, thanks.
I did not like the discarded couplet, it was like this:
tum bhii ho kyaa kisii kii qurbat meN
ham bhii jalte the yuuNhii furqat meN
qurbat : near; furqat : separation
Since you’ve provided the meter, I’m playing around too
Forgive the audacity of the tresspass….
“yu.n har raah se naadani chun kar
safar guzaara hai zahaanat mein”
Nice try. Tresspassing is encouraged on blogs!